Raising Grown Ups #halfcenturylife

#RaisingGrownUps #MakingMelinda #HalfCenturyLife #next’hood

Raising Grown Ups turned out to be more difficult than I expected, yet I am satisfied with my efforts.  I remember learning that I was pregnant and crying for three straight days.  I had ruined everything, I had let everyone down.   Those were my first thoughts, then I got scared.  I was afraid I would ruin this person, this child’s life.  What the HELL did I know about children about teaching raising a child.  That was my sister, she was best at that!  Me, I was going to be the WORST mother on the planet and this child would HATE me for life.  That was the next three days.  After that, I told my dad that I was pregnant and I was sorry for disappointing him.  He surprised me with his support.  He told me he wasn’t disappointed because he knew I would be a good mother.  I was positive that I would find my way because he knew who I was.  Next was her Daddy…he just wanted to know when I was moving to Boston.  My grandparents reacted the same, for all those days crying I had so much support.

MyGirls NolanandWalkey
My Girls
Blake and Jordan

Blake arrived with my mother at my side, she was the first to hold her, the first to kiss her, the next to love her.  Jordan announced herself to the world 3 days before my birthday, her daddy struggling to stay conscious during delivery, he was the first to hold her, to kiss her, but again, second to love her.  Ariq devised a way to have EVERYONE at his birth.  He decided to join us when his daddy and sisters where MILES away in Cape Cod.  True to his birth order, he waited and waited for his daddy and sisters to arrive at the hospital.  His daddy was first to hold, first to kiss and second to love.  Ryan…precious Ryan joined us April 2006 shortly after I TORE Blake from everything she knew and loved in Georgia…thank our heavenly stars he found us.

MyBoysinNola
My Boys
Nolan and Walkey

So, there I was 2006 kids 14, 12, and 10 three I gave life, one that found us when we needed a friend.  Moving to Arizona was the test of raising grownups.  It challenged me to live a different life than my mother.  I held jobs, paid bills, and participated in their lives as much as they allowed.  I embarrassed them at every opportunity, on purpose or by accident, just as my mother had.  I didn’t have stability in my home and I wanted that for my kids.  My teenage years were spent taking care of my mother, paying bills, and crying in front of the gas man to not turn off our utilities.  Eating bread with BBQ sauce for dinner and living in two foster homes.  This was not how I would raise my grownups.  I read to them, played Mario Party, carpooled, cheered on the sidelines for soccer, softball and football games.  I coached soccer and basketball, I participated.  I worked, I worked and I worked to pay rent, utilities and cell phone bills.  I purchased two cars when Blake was turning 16 just to get a break from driving.  I paid bills kept food on the shelves.  We may not have had spectacular holidays after the divorce, but I created a stable home.  I told my kids they were special, they determined their worth it was NOT dictated to them by others.  They knew their bodies were their own, they decided for themselves what they wanted….ok I interjected sometimes (OK Blake), but they were the masters of their destiny.  This was their life. Not mine to live.

Its 2018 and I think about what and how this impacted them.  Two will live and work abroad, one built her own company from nothing and that Ryan…he’s a hustler too.  He started a company from nothing as well.  Blake and Ryan are a power couple, they are success because they found each other.  Jordan is that girl that everyone remembers forever.  She makes you feel important and inspired.  Ariq is the charmer he makes you feel good about life, about yourself.  He turned his teenaged life around, with a hiccup in college, but moving forward.  4 Grown up who know the truth of life…

Say what you mean and mean what you Say

 

So, I look at the grownups and say…yea I did that, but I got lucky that these four blessed my life with theirs

 

#kidsareblesssings  #makingmelinda68 #saywhatyoumeanwhatyousay

4 thoughts on “Raising Grown Ups #halfcenturylife”

  1. I loved reading this Melinda and I miss our chats after Zumba classes in Arizona. So glad that we can keep up with each other here. You will always be the first person who let me teach a song in their class to give me confidence. You have so much to be proud of. You look so happy and I am so thrilled for you. Lots of love, Mary-Lee

  2. I Love you so much. I am very proud of you for putting this out there. I learned things about you in this article that I had never known. All I did know was that life is never easy for you, but you made life amazing for your children. You created three beautiful strong independent kids. And you gave Ryan another mom when he was missing his. So proud to call you my auntie and blessed to have you all in my life. Can’t wait till our next adventure.

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