Making Melinda 50 #halfcenturylife #newhood

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Making Melinda 50 #halfcenturylife #newhood

Making my 50th year…..

 

I turn 50 this year.  It is an interesting number, half century and all that.  It is also the first time that I have had to reflect on my life, a serious agonizing reflection.  For the last 15 years I have raised three beautiful intelligent compassionate ambitious successful children.  My own growth stalled because I chose to shut myself off from the world.  My childhood experience left me with the desire to not have boyfriends in and out of my children’s lives.  I didn’t engage in any relationships. I lived for my children, my life was planned an organized to give them the opportunities I felt were taken from me because my mother “lived her life”.  I do not regret my choice, I just realize that I should have found a better balance.  I have struggled for the last two years trying to find my path, my plan, to organize my life.  I used to be able to see the map of my life years ahead, but I felt lost.  I don’t know where or what I will be doing next year and it is very unsettling.  What I have decided is that I do need to open myself to relationships.  Open my life to feelings, open to creating relationships that may not be what I expect.  Open myself to the unexpected, again.  I say again because my life took a turn 26 years ago.  An unexpected event took me from how I thought I would live to an exceptional life.   I am again faced with a choice to remain steadfast or allow change to happen.  I choose now to go of the idea of my life just as I did 26 years ago.  Let go of what I wanted my life to be and to allow my life to unfold.

 

My 50 year pledge…Prepare for the unexpected…

#makingmelinda68 #halfcenturylife #being50 #newhoods #hoods

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